Change rarely arrives as a sudden revelation after which everything falls into place on its own. More often, it looks like a path: a few steps forward, one to the side, sometimes a pause, sometimes a sudden “enough” and a decision that shifts the course of events. And that is normal — it does not indicate weakness, but the fact that the human brain dislikes risk, even when the current life is no longer working. Coaching exists precisely so that this path becomes clearer — and you become more agentic.

What Will You Find in This Article?

• Why coaching works best as a “shared journey,” not a set of tips

• Small steps and “quantum leaps” — when adjustment is enough and when you need a change of direction

• Where resistance to change comes from and why “I know, but I don’t do it” is so common

• What coaching looks like as a dialogical process — during and between sessions

• When coaching makes sense and when it is better to begin with a clinical consultation

Coaching – A Shared Journey Through the Process of Change

Change is rarely a one-time act. It usually begins with something small: a sentence you finally say, a boundary you set, a decision you stop postponing. Then hesitation appears — because what is old may be uncomfortable, but it is familiar. What is new may be better, but at first it is uncertain.

In coaching, the key point is that you do not have to go through this process alone. A coach does not lead you by the hand and does not push you in the “right direction.” They walk beside you: with attention, with structuring questions, and with the ability to detect meaning where you see only chaos.

That is the difference between a conversation about change and a change process itself. A conversation can bring relief. A process provides structure.

Small Steps and “Quantum Leaps”

Not every change requires a revolution. Sometimes one adjustment is enough: shifting priorities, straightening communication, naming your needs, structuring your week, returning to habits that build energy. These small steps can trigger a surprisingly strong domino effect — because often what is missing is not potential, but direction and consistency.

There are also moments when small corrections are no longer sufficient. Burnout, breakup, relationship crisis, loss of meaning, the sense that “I’m holding everything together, but I have nothing left” — these are signals that previous strategies have simply been exhausted. In such cases, coaching can become a space not for “fixing yourself,” but for redesigning how you live: what stays, what goes, what is truly yours and what was someone else’s script.

Why Change Is Difficult

Change is not just a new decision. It is also the loss of old security — even if that security was only an illusion. The brain prefers predictability. When you move toward something new, resistance appears: postponing, rationalising, “not yet,” returning to old habits.

That is why so many people say, “I know what I should do… but I don’t do it.”

This does not necessarily mean laziness. Often, three elements are missing:

• clarity (what is the real goal, and what is just an escape from discomfort),

• structure (how to translate intention into action),

• a safe space (to see the whole picture without pressure or judgment).

Some people lack even internal space — time, energy or emotional capacity — to gain perspective. They operate on autopilot, and “change” sounds like yet another obligation. In coaching, the starting point may simply be restoring breathing room and a sense of control: less chaos, more influence.

Coaching as a Dialogical Process

Coaching is not about giving ready-made answers. It is a partnership: you bring your life, goals and values — the coach brings tools that help you see, name and translate them into action.

In practice, coaching involves:

• naming the goal and verifying whether it is truly yours (and not someone else’s voice in your head),

• analysing patterns and context (what you repeat, what blocks you, what distracts you),

• planning realistic steps (ones that can be implemented in real life, not in an idealised version of it),

• moving through stages until the new way of acting becomes natural.

Most of the essential work happens between sessions. That is when you make micro-decisions, test new reactions, practise communication and reshape habits. Sessions function like a lighthouse: they organise experience, name what occurred, draw conclusions and define the next step. Continuity matters — it turns inspiration into lasting change.

Research on coaching, particularly in work and development contexts, indicates that coaching can produce measurable benefits in areas such as wellbeing, goal attainment, learning and professional functioning — especially when conducted in a structured and psychologically informed manner.

Crisis Change and Developmental Change

There are two common entry points into coaching.

Crisis change: first, stability and a sense of influence must be restored. The priority may be “reclaiming yourself”: structuring, setting boundaries, making decisions and creating a minimum viable plan for a difficult period.

Developmental change: you have potential, but want to act more wisely, courageously and consistently. Coaching helps sharpen direction, raise standards and maintain discipline without burning out.

In both cases, two words matter: pace and realism. Coaching does not happen in abstraction. It happens in your Mondays, your conversations, your reactions, your life.

Being in the Process

Change is not linear. Sometimes you step back, return to an old habit or doubt yourself. That is not failure — it is part of the process. The difference lies in whether you interpret it as proof of “I can’t,” or as information: “here I need a different strategy, different support, a different dose.”

Mature coaching does not fight setbacks. It reads them. And then helps you return to the path — with greater self-understanding.

When Coaching Makes Sense — and When to Start Differently

Coaching is effective when you seek development, decisions, structure, consistency and habit change. However, if you experience symptoms that significantly impair functioning (e.g. chronic insomnia, severe anxiety, depressive episodes, suicidal thoughts, trauma in “alarm mode,” addiction), the safest starting point is a clinical consultation and differential diagnosis. In such cases, stabilisation and appropriate therapeutic support take priority.

From the Author

If you are in a moment of change — or feel that you no longer want to live “at half capacity” — coaching can become a space where this journey becomes clearer and more manageable. At Wzajemnie.com, I structure the work so that you leave not only with reflection, but with a concrete step for the coming week — realistic and tailored to your life.

If you want to begin wisely and without drifting: book a consultation at Wzajemnie.com.

Disclaimer

This article is for informational and educational purposes only. It does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis or treatment recommendation within the meaning of applicable law. The information provided does not replace consultation with a physician, psychologist, sexologist or psychotherapist, nor an individual health assessment. If symptoms described in this article occur, intensify or persist, professional consultation is recommended. In urgent situations (e.g. severe pain, injury, bleeding, systemic symptoms), immediate medical assistance should be sought. The author assumes no responsibility for the consequences of using the content without professional consultation or for decisions made based on the information provided herein.

Author: mgr Patrycja Krześniak

Coach

Behavioral profiler

I support individuals who feel stuck in repetitive patterns — in relationships, at work, in decision-making and communication. As a coach and behavioural profiler, I help you identify what triggers your reactions, what habits emerge under pressure and where you lose influence — and then translate that into a concrete change plan. You receive clear collaboration frameworks, practical tools and a structured process that helps you move from endless analysis to effective action.

I work primarily Online.

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